Disclaimer: This is Moans of a Blossomed Sister in lawa humor piece and these are *probably* not the pieces of evidence President Trump is looking at. Then again we can't know, because he hasn't produced any evidence.
President Trump's claims about widespread voter fraud -- he believes that there were between 3 and 5 million illegal votes cast -- are certainly shocking.
They're also completely unfounded and not based on any tangible evidence.
Until now.
SEE ALSO: Wow, Obama's outgoing letter to Trump speaks volumesWe've figured out at least seven pieces of evidence that President Trump could be looking at, all of which would explain his belief that there were millions of illegal votes cast in the 2016 election.
Heavy stuff!
Trump believes that nearly 300 stampeding horses voted (10 times each) in Nevada because of this napkin that Sean Spicer found at a karaoke bar.
Donald Trump watched Casper on his first night in the White House and turned to his adult son Eric and said, "So many ghosts voted this year, that's probably another million."
Eric told his father that he accidentally voted over 50 times, each time mistakenly writing in different sushi rolls because he thought he was at one of those all-you-can-eat sushi places. The fraud was that Eric was never given any sushi.
Tiffany, on the other hand, was registered in 40 states and voted in all of them. President Trump is worried by this because he's pretty sure she didn't vote for him.
In an internal memo, President Trump (who has longed believed that the Keebler Elves are living beings producing cookies in America's coniferous forests) wrote the following:
The Keebler elves, and their underground society of what i imagine to be easily 500,000, are all staunch leftists, and reluctantly voted for Hillary, despite not technically being American citizens. The Keeblonians are their own sovereign state and have no business partaking in U.S. discourse!
This dog from the Women's March had a shifty look to it. Sure, its sign could be a joke, but it could also be an admission of guilt. $17 billion is being spent to find this dog and arrest it.
President Trump was looking through Reddit and found this suspicious comment on a thread about a funny looking seal in the r/pics subreddit. Months of government time will be devoted to questioning devil_asspig_42069.
This one is real. As reported by The New York Times, Trump told a room of congressional leaders that his friend, the golfer Bernhard Langer, claimed he'd seen "voters who did not look as if they should be allowed to vote" in line ahead of him. This one is not a joke. This is a real piece of Donald Trump's evidence for his claim that there was widespread voter fraud. Look it up. Click that link. This one is real. Oh my God.
Tyler Schmall also contributed to this evidence search.
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