【horse humping sex videos】

Apple TV+'s sci-fi thriller Severanceintroduces viewers to the nefarious Lumon Industries,horse humping sex videos where employees can choose to sever their work memories from their personal memories. While the severance procedure is thankfully fictional, the stifling corporate atmosphere of Lumon feels all too familiar to anyone who's ever worked an office job. Severance's marketing team has upped that familiarity factor even more by giving Lumon Industries its own LinkedIn page.

Lumon's page absolutely nails the tone of a company trying too hard on LinkedIn. It posts cheery business platitudes that align with founder Kier Eagan's 9 core principles, and it introduces the "Innies" who work on the Severed floor with short descriptions focusing solely on their productivity.

"Don't worry," these posts seem to say. "These employees are totally not being held against their will — they're happy and hard-working members of the company!" (And that's all they'll ever be, thanks to severance.)

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Anyone up for a waffle party? Credit: Screenshot/LinkedIn

On top of being a darkly funny yet unsettling marketing tactic, Lumon's LinkedIn is full of Easter eggs that will intrigue Severance fans. A post welcoming Helly R. (Britt Lower) to the team reveals that her last name is Riggs. Dylan G.'s (Zach Cherry) and Irving B.'s (John Turturro) last names are similarly revealed to be George and Bailiff.

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A series of videos called "Tour Lumon with Dylan G." also gives us a closer look at what life is like on the Severed floor. These short clips are appropriately awkward and staged, with Dylan showing us everything from Lumon's kitchenette to its restroom. In true Lumon fashion, these videos still omit a whole lot: Many of Dylan's words are bleeped out, and portions of the office are covered up by Lumon logos.

Looking to find out more about what Lumon is really up to? Unfortunately, you won't find it on its LinkedIn.

Looking to find out more about what Lumon is really up to? Unfortunately, you won't find it on its LinkedIn. Lumon describes itself as a "leading biotech company" (suspicious and vague) with over 10,001 employees (suspicious and scary). Nowhere does it mention what macrodata refinement means or why baby goats are hanging out on the Severed floor.

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However, it does mention Severance: The Lexington Letter, a companion book to Severance about a Lumon employee who discovers a dark secret. Lumon's LinkedIn dismisses the book as nothing but lies, which surely means the book is telling the truth.

If networking with Lumon online is what gives me tidbits of information about Severance, you can believe I'll follow its LinkedIn page. Who knows, maybe the thought of seeing Lumon's corporate nightmare fuel will get me to actually check LinkedIn more often. Until then, I'll be anxiously awaiting each new Severance episode and theorizing wildly about Lumon and those baby goats.

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