Hey Elon! Musk,Watch Wet Men And Women Online my man. My boi, my guy, my dude!
I'm looking at the calendar (can you believe it's September already?) and, like, summer is over.
Kids are going back to school in their crispy AF clothes and kicks and just, okay, I'll cut to the chase: Where the f*ck is my flamethrower? I correct myself, my Not-a-Flamethrower. *Wink wink*.
Y'all promised me I'd be roasting nuts or killing zombies like a boss this summer and I've yet to incinerate a single peanut for the 'gram.
SEE ALSO: Elon Musk enjoys world's gentlest softball interview with Marques Brownlee after total meltdownLook, Elon, I know you're a super busy guy. You've got lots of big and important shit to do like running Tesla, SpaceX, The Boring Company, and tweeting yourself into trouble.
I'm aware of all the things you've had on your plate this year:
Sending a Tesla (and more importantly Starman) into space
Sleeping at the factory to help improve Tesla Model 3 production
Picking fights with journalists because you're butt-hurt over media coverage
Basically declaring yourself Batman by bringing a kid-sized submarine to help rescue Thai soccer team trapped in cave
Accusing Thai cave diver Vernon Unsworth of being a pedophile
Successfully landing another Falcon 9 rocket booster
Errr, reaching a deal with the farting unicorn artist
Getting everyone all worked up over taking Tesla private, but then reneging
Somehow making time for a softball interview with YouTuber MKBHD
Uh... launching a Tesla battery pack with built-in wireless charging
Doubling down on accusing the Thai cave diver of being a pedo after apologizing months earlier
These are only the highlights. There's tons of stuff you did this year that I can't possibly recall. All in a year's work, I suppose, but seriously dude... where's my fire gun?
I wasMashable was crazy enough to drop $576.37 on the Not-a-Flamethrower and a Boring-branded fire extinguisher. That was at the end of January. It's now September and I've heard virtually nothing about when I'll get my toy.
It was nice you guys had a "pick-up party" in Los Angeles in June. But I don't live in L.A — I live in New York City. One of our L.A. guys tried to go pick it up, but they didn't make the 1,000-person line cutoff.
NBD. I'm a patient guy, so I waited. In July, you told me there would be a pick-up party in Washington D.C. But you didn't tell me what time and where exactly.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable I sent you guys a polite email, but ya just left me hanging. Naturally, I missed the pick-up party because, dude, I'm not a friggin' mind reader.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable August rolled by and...
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Elon, buddy, this ain't cool. Breaking up hurts (trust me, we've all been there), but it'll get better. Keep your eye on the ball and ship my darn Not-a-Flamethrower.
At the very least gimme an update like tracking info on when I can expect it. Something to believe in! I'm just asking for a little hope that I still might be able to BBQ like a badass this summer.
There's still time, too! Seventeen days to be exact. Summer ain't officially over until Sept. 22. Keep your promise, man!
I'll be upset if it doesn't come in the next few days. I guess I could use it to clear snow off the walk or teach a snowman a lesson or something, but that's not gonna cure the serious FOMO I have right now.
Don't take my summer fun away from me. Let me live a little and bask in the Instagram glory for a hot sec. It's all I want.
Sincerely,
Guy Patiently Waiting For His FlamethrowerNot-a-Flamethrower
UPDATE: Sept. 5, 2018, 2:09 p.m. EDT:
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable We did it! The Boring Company got back to me and will ship our Not-a-Flamethrower in the next few days! Wooo! What do we burn first? Tweet me @raywongy and we might burn your idea.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Topics Elon Musk
No Time for a Negative Peace
Ricky Gervais brings up Jeffrey Epstein in Golden Globes monologue
This totally wild 'Dracula' billboard is more than it seems
Royole puts its flexible display tech into an Alexa
Best Hydro Flask deal: Save $10 on a 24
Juno is a countertop appliance that chills your bottle of wine in minutes, literally
BAFTA head responds to backlash over lack of diversity in 2020 nominations
Intel has a huge tablet that folds into an all
Nvidia Pascal Goes Mobile: GeForce GTX 1080, 1070 & 1060 Preview
New renders show what Apple's new budget phone could look like, whatever it's called
Commissioning Misleading Core i9
Japan moves closer to acceptance, with another city recognising same
Theresa May tells Vogue why 'gentleman' Donald Trump held her hand
Airbnb is going all out to woo China, and even has a new Chinese name
Pebble smartwatches are coming, but they won't get along with the iPhone
Dell's UFO concept is like a Nintendo Switch with the power of an Alienware PC
All the details of Uber's 'PLEASE LOVE US AGAIN' phone call
In Toyota's future city prototype, autonomous vehicles rule the streets
Stablecoin bill advances in U.S. Senate as Trump critics call to end his crypto dealings
Google Assistant added a bunch of cool features for 2020
First look at Fisker Ocean, the electric SUV taking on Tesla for under $40,000Google Assistant added a bunch of cool features for 2020Lyft's 'antiTurtle which needed surgery to remove a bellyful of coins has diedGolden Globes: Kate McKinnon honors Ellen DeGeneres in tearful speech'Banana for scale' is put to bed by this very weird apartment listingThis student's hilariously bizarre campaign video escalates so damn fastStator's bigDell's UFO concept is like a Nintendo Switch with the power of an Alienware PCSony randomly announced a concept car at CES just because they couldIt’s almost 1099 time. Stay on track with 50% off QuickBooks Online.A sex therapist weighs in on 'The Bachelor' having sex in a windmill 4 timesLenovo's ThinkBook Plus has an E Ink display that might make you rethink pen and paperHere's a simple trick for getting over someonePlayful Anki toy robots might be resurrected by new ownersParents everywhere are freaking out about the electronics ban on flightsWomen's mansplaining experiences will make you want to throw thingsPlayful Anki toy robots might be resurrected by new ownersJared Kushner is building a skyscraper and, well, it looks like a dickFirst look at Fisker Ocean, the electric SUV taking on Tesla for under $40,000 Animal Farm Timeline by John Reed End of an Era by M.J. Moore The Old Order Changeth by Sadie Stein Paula Fox, Work in Progress by The Paris Review The Digital Public Library, and Other News by Sadie Stein GoFundMe blasts inaction on COVID relief by sharing people's stories Paula Fox, Fighting Perfection by Jonathan Franzen 'Final Fantasy XVI' review: Being different is fine In the Margins by Sadie Stein What to do when body image is affecting your sex life Sofia Coppola's Priscilla Presley biopic gets stunning teaser trailer The missing Titanic sub might have used this old game controller Master Class by Katherine Hill You Take Your Love Where You Get It: An Interview with Kenneth Goldsmith by Christopher Higgs Apple ID supports passkeys on iOS 17, iPad OS 17, and macOS Sonoma. Here's how to test it out. Wordle today: Here's the answer and hints for June 21 'Quordle' today: See each 'Quordle' answer and hints for June 22 Jimmy Ernst, Untitled, 1976 by The Paris Review Decadent Prose: An Interview with Translator Kit Schluter by Sarah Gerard What We’re Loving: Aliens and Birds by The Paris Review
2.4209s , 10159.90625 kb
Copyright © 2025 Powered by 【Watch Wet Men And Women Online】,Miracle Information Network