【This Isn't The Twilight Saga: New Moon: The XXX Parody】

I am an entirely unremarkable person.

That’s not to say I don’t have This Isn't The Twilight Saga: New Moon: The XXX Parodymy moments — you should see me with a plate of chicken wings — but in the vast sea that is the internet, I’m, at best, a bit player. I’m not a Public Figure. My biggest online presence has only a few thousand followers on a platform on its last legs.

So, in an era where everyone's personal data and privacy are constantly at risk — the latest public data breach has reportedly affected millions — it's hard not to feel a little apathetic. Life is hard enough. I worry about my loved ones, my job, my next meal, whether I took my pills, my health, next month’s rent, if I left the stove on, and the hellish ups and downs of the Philadelphia 76ers. I simply cannot bring myself to worry too much about digital surveillance and online security.

Spooky voice:"AnYonE cAn FiNd OuT EvErYtHinG AbOuT yOu OnLiNe." OK...what's for dinner?

That’s not to say I’d do nothing about it if someone actually surveilled me. If someone hacked my bank accounts or email, I’d take action. But beyond that, I can’t be bothered. Say someone could use my running app, Instagram, or tweets to figure out where I live. Again...OK. And then what? Tell me my tweets suck? I already know that. Or dredge up an old password? OK...me and everyone else who’s ever used the internet.

I scroll TikTok — primarily for cooking videos and sports memes — and I know there’s been plenty of handwringing over the app's supposed connections to the Chinese government. Do I understand there is a potential for surveillance? Sure. I’m well aware of the reports and research showing the company could access U.S. user data. But honestly, that’s just a condition of being alive on the internet and part of modern society.

TikTok isn’t even unique. Do you know who else has access to user data and might improperly share or leak it? Pretty much every other social media company. Here are a few Mashable headlines from the past few years:

• Facebook admits to improperly giving user data to third-party developers, again.

• 23andMe may have suffered yet another breach – your data is in jeopardy

• Threads, Meta's Twitter rival, is tracking you in all sorts of ways

• 235 million Twitter accounts were leaked in a huge data breach

• The IRS accidentally published some taxpayers' confidential information

These are just a few headlines I found with a quick search. Weirdly, the fact that every damn company has access to so much of my data is almost comforting. There’s a vast ocean of data out there — why should mine matter? In other words, we’re all part of a big herd, and I’m just hoping someone else is the straggler getting picked off by predators.

And let’s be real, even if you do everything right — if you’re super careful about privacy and surveillance — the IRS might publish your info, or some site might just leak your stuff anyway.

I admit this perspective is partly driven by laziness. Maybe I should care more. But preventing surveillance online means being hyper-vigilant, and brother, I am not that. I share without thinking. I'll eat a good slice of pizza and immediately tweet, "I just ate — like right now, this second — a great piece of pizza at this exact location," and I’ll even drop the longitude and latitude for good measure. I’ve never read a single word of a terms of service agreement. I have zero clue which apps are tracking what.

But I can’t be bothered. And I’d argue that unless you’re a major influencer, a politician, some business leader, or Taylor Swift, you probably don't need to be that bothered either. Some of my more intelligent, more tech-savvy colleagues are probably screaming, "Don't listen to Tim!!!" But most of us aren’t important enough to worry about being surveilled. And even if we should care, what in the hell can we do?

If a weirdo commenter wants to find my personal email address, if a hacker wants to access my data, if a company wants to share my data with advertisers, or if the freaking government of China wants...anything about me, there really isn’t much I can do to stop it. If you want to see what I’m doing online, knock yourself out. I’m just some guy.

What am I supposed to do? Give up the internet entirely? Yeah, OK. As a wise man once said, I will never log off.