Warner Bros. just announced that there would be Blowjob | Adult Movies Onlinenot three, but fivemovies in the Fantastic Beasts saga, and we are tapped out.
We've been die-hard Harry Potter fans since 1999, fixture at midnight book releases and movie premieres. One of us used to wait with bated breath on Sunday night for new episodes of my favorite Potter podcasts, and the only reason we're sharing this byline right now is because we met at a Potter convention and then one of us referred the other for a job.
SEE ALSO: J.K. Rowling burns Donald Trump in 3 magical tweetsTL;DR: We love Harry Potter. But this just feels excessive.
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Fans cried out against the decision to split Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows into two movies, calling it a money-grab but ultimately allowing the series to go on for another year. Cursed Childquickly became not one but two plays -- and subsequently, a very polarizing published script. Fantastic Beasts was supposed to be a trilogy, and even that seemed cumbersome, and now it's a freaking pentalogy, which is a word we just learned today because now we have to know it.
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It's the old excuse, too: We can't tell the story any other way! You're not Peter Jackson, Jo, you can't fool us.
This book and these movies were supposed to be about Newt Scamander, excellent finder and famous Hufflepuff. It was meant to be a simple, fun exploration of the wizarding world, set against the whimsical background of New York in the roaring '20s.
Over the course of five movies, we're definitely getting to the defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945. THESE MOVIES ARE ABOUT GRINDELWALD, STOP LYING.
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And what about the writing itself? Rowling's Pottermore pieces about the history of magic in North America have been controversial at best, with problematic descriptions of Native Americans and discrepancies with basic American history.
The comparison that keeps getting made is to Star Wars, a series over 40 years in the making. It hasn't even been a decide since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was published; In those 10 years we've gotten two theme parks, two plays, an interactive website, and now we've accidentally made an Unbreakable Vow to see five more movies.
This is the definition of too much, too soon.
The Harry Potter generation reached adulthood in that time, and we haven't had enough time and space to develop the requisite nostalgia to appreciate this deluge of content. Of course we'll be there in the theater, hoping for the best from these movies, and our inner Potter fans will never not thrill to hear "Hedwig's Theme" and potentially see Dumbledore duke it out with Grindelwald on the big screen.
But it's hard not to feel like we've sold our souls in pursuit of something that will never be as satisfying as the original.
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