Love or ass fucking movieshate Facebook, you've got to hate Facebook.
Though a lonely few may have closed their accounts and joined the Facebook #resistance, nearly all of us are tied to the platform in some way or another. If we're going to survive out there, there's two things we need to do: 1.) Pressure them to eliminate fake news or otherwise lose our country to authoritarianism, lol; and 2.) Get rid of certain types of highly annoying Facebook posts, which just refuse to die.
SEE ALSO: Facebook’s fake news fix comes way too lateBelow is a list of types of Facebook posts you've likely been witness to, and would love to see disappear, in 2017. If you're responsible for one of the following posts, it's okay, you're not alone -- we're just asking you to do a little bit better and PLEASE STOP.
Chicken Alfredo Pizza Serving 8 INGREDIENTS 1 pizza dough 3 tablespoons alfredo sauce ½ cup mozzarella cheese ½ cup cooked chicken 1 cubed roma tomato PREPARATION 1. Preheat oven to 450°F/230°C. 2. Roll out dough to about 10 - 12 inches in diameter. 3. Top pizza with alfredo sauce, chicken, and tomatoes. 4. Bake in oven for 15-20 minutes, or until crust is crispy and cheese is melted and 5. turning golden brown. 6. Garnish with parsley and cut into 8 slices. 7. Enjoy!
Listen, it's not like Mashablehasn't produced their own share of sat fat stories. But how many slow-motion chicken alfredo videos can you watch before your arteries finally collapse into a pile of tears.
There is nothing worse than apathy, and discussing politics is critical to a healthy democracy. So please don't pretend like you've been "forced" into talking about politics like it's some great chore, when silence is dangerous, and when you've probably already been talking about it anyway.
Since when does eternal love equate with crappy public park bridges that could will definitely collapse at any second?
Listen, we get it. Everyone's terrible. But it's kind of weird to ask us all to applaud your social media purge, like it's some kind of humanitarian achievement.
Sure, there's nothing malicious in this post. But it really makes the rest of us feel bad when we discover that we didn't care enough about you to type three letters on your Facebook wall.
But they didn't, and it's simultaneously sad and unproven -- and there's nothing people can do to change it. Right now, American democracy is on the verge of collapse. So what are you going to do about it, outside of sharing some story on Facebook that you probably didn't even read?
Ahh, when someone punishes a billion dollar social platform by going off it for seven days max.
It isn't.
People don't need a little "laughter" right now, what they need is the truth.
Totally understandable. But approximately say, three people have followed through on that threat in the past two hundred years it's been said.
Really love that this #pizzagate infographic bothers to say “it’s not actually that crazy" pic.twitter.com/AcZBC2SR0Q
— Nick Wing (@nickpwing) December 5, 2016
Note: If the site has a border of American Eagle GIFs, it's probably not reputable.
The decline and fall of the American selfie.
Give that blob a smile and at least one eye, then you can post.
You are not living in a Hugh Grant movie. And trust me, you don't want to be living in one, either.
The only thing lazier than Googling is this.
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