Nick Kroll and Snow white and the seven dwarfs porn movieJohn Mulaney, hosts of the Independent Spirit Awards, went full-savage on Hollywood, President Donald Trump, and everything else under the California sun on Saturday. In doing so, they achieving new levels of "they did notjust say that" at the one awards show that seems to re-define the limits of awards-show-season jokes every year.
SEE ALSO: Going to 11: 'La La Land' will tie the record for most Academy Awards (and destroy everything in its path)The sun is shining 🌞 and the people are drinking 🍾🥂. A perfect #SpiritAwards. pic.twitter.com/2pV9pAwJ9t
— Film Independent (@filmindependent) February 25, 2017
The show—billed as "Hollywood's biggest afternoon"—took its first brutal swipe in the cold open, labeling Best Feature nominees Chronic, Manchester by the Sea, Moonlight, American Honey, and Jackie, respectively as: Bad Dad, Bad Dad, No Dad, No Dadsand ... wait for it ... Dead Dad.
Shock, yes. Surprise? No: Kroll and Mulaney, friends and creators of The Oh, Hello Showof TV and theater fame, are not polite, to put it as mildly as possible.
To put it less mildly, here are some highlights from their scorching monologue and segments:
"We like to think of ourselves as the awards show without Mel Gibson," Kroll said. "People wondered how long would it take Hollywood to forgive someone for anti-semitic racist hate speech? The answer? Eight years!"
Added Mulaney: "So look out for the 2024 Oscars, when the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award goes to Steve Bannon."
"The only reason he got that job is because he's so hot!" Kroll cracked. Mulaney: "Those chapped kneecaps!" Kroll: "In this country, if you're that sexy, you can get anything you want. Steve Bannon is so hot. He looks like Nick Offerman drowned."
"Hey Trump, you and Robert Durst are both rich sociopaths from New York real estate empires, yet somehow, Robert Durst is more likable."
"This is your day to celebrate each other," Mulaney said. "To stroke each other off. The Spirit Awards are a secret hand-job on the beach. But enough about Moonlight."
Kroll: "So many people died in 2016 that it would be more efficient to show people who haven't died."
That's when Andy Samberg, dressed poorly as Eddie Vedder, bounded onstage to sing Pearl Jam's "Alive" as he honored the living, including Hailee Steinfeld, Tim Allen, "Mattie D-Bones" (Matt Damon), Viggo Mortensen, Craig Robinson, Casey Affleck (who was not in his chair, hmmm), and Fred Armisen (who pretended to die at that moment). Samberg took a moment to send off an RIP tweet before attending to the situation.
Not In Memoriam: @AndySamberg's tribute to the stars who are still alive. #SpiritAwards pic.twitter.com/KPgI0PLT3E
— IFC (@IFC) February 25, 2017
Topics Oscars
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