Boston is asexual eroticism exercisea city of personality, from its iconic accent, to its loyalty to the Red Sox, to its determination to see the Red Sox beat the Yankees. Here's a video that captures all of that in less than two minutes.
SEE ALSO: Massachusetts cops' tweet-fail reveals they're monitoring political activistsLouie Iacuzzi was driving through Somerville when he saw a strange object rolling through the street. In the video, he explains that he ran across three highway lanes to retrieved the mystery object, which turned out to be a Red Sox banner rolled up in a brown paper bag.
"This is for Fenway Park," Iacuzzi drawled in the signature Massachusetts accent, bypassing every R. "How do we have this? Nobody made this. This belongs to the park."
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The banner says "2018 American League East Champions." It was made ahead of time in anticipation for the American League East Championship against the Yankees this week, but a Fenway representative said the banner must have fallen off their vendor's delivery truck.
In the video Iacuzzi said that he wants to give the banner back to the park because it "doesn't belong to us," but wants something in return.
"In reciprocation, we'd like to go to a nice playoff game," he told the Boston Globe. "We don't want to just hand it over to them. We need to negotiate here."
Basically, they're holding the banner hostage in exchange for a very New England ransom. You kind of have to admire Iacuzzi's tenacity. Negotiating a banner to see a playoff game is a whole new level of Boston.
In the end, Iacuzzi returned the banner to Fenway, according to an update from the Globe, and he received nothing in return.
With their iconic Boston accents and insistence on levying the banner's importance for tickets, the post is drawing comparisons to another viral video, where a Bostonian boater freaks out over finding a "baby fahkin' whale."
After an explicit-ridden rant and a call to contact the New England aquarium, the fishermen realize that the sea monster is just a massive sunfish.
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